danajohnhill.org | Hard Times Come Again No More

Nothing makes for a pleasant dinner out like frenzied competition. Last night Mrs. Hill and I found ourselves at Kazbor’s, a restaurant in Gainesville we’d never tried before, where we immediately became wrapped up in a lively electronic trivia game with other patrons.

The questions were displayed on large televisions, and at our table we had a small gadget–rather like an old Speak and Spell–which we used to enter our answers. A game consisted of three rounds of five questions each, and the breaks were welcome, since, during play, you had little time to look away from the screen to, say, eat. The trivia games there appear to have themes, and while we played the theme was holiday cuisine. Almost immediately we were crushing the competition, and until the second to the last question we had a commanding lead, thanks to Miriam’s culinary knowledge. But then there was a question we didn’t know, and finally, on question fifteen, I didn’t press the enter button, so we got zero points there, and ultimately came in third place. We were so close to beating “N JUNG”, who appeared to be a regular player at Kazbor’s, judging by the electronic rankings posted after the game.

We’ll be back, and when we do we’re going to dominate ‘em. (By the way, the chicken was good, the fries so-so, and the cola was Coke.)

Filed under: Food, General on December 15th, 2007 | No Comments »

In my ongoing War on Christmas series I present examples of people, places and things which threaten to destroy Christmas altogether.

Today I will focus on the song “Sleigh Ride”.  Let us immediately acknowledge that this isn’t even a Christmas song, as no mention is made of our dear Savior’s birth.  Unless our savior is Farmer Grey.  Still, there are other songs popular during the holidays which are not technically Christmas songs: “Let it Snow”, which is delightful; “My Favorite Things”, which is a masterpiece, but has more to do with bee stings than Christmas; and the worst non-Christmas Christmas song of all, “Jingle Bells”, which can go to hell.  They all somehow have their place in the popular Christmas songbook, and I’ll leave their scandalous inclusion therein for another day.

Today, however, I am troubled by the lazy way in which so many singers have sullied Leroy Anderson’s tune, and all of them do it in the same place.  The line “We’re riding along with a song of a wintry fairy land” ought to sound like this:

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Harry Connick, Jr. gets it right.  So does Ella Fitzgerald.  Even The Ventures articulate the melody correctly, albeit with Fender guitars.  More often than not, however, you hear it like this:

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It isn’t just Johnny Mathis who wimps out.  It is also Andy Williams, Amy Grant, Hillary Duff, Clay Aiken, and on an on.  Phil Spector, murderer of songs and women, didn’t even include that section in his production of The Ronettes’ 1963 version.

Now that you are aware of the problem, listen out next time you hear “Sleigh Ride”, and see what I mean.  In light of the inability or unwillingness of singers to correctly render the melody, I propose a worldwide moratorium on “Sleigh Ride”, to last indefinitely, preferably forever.

Filed under: Popular Music, Rantings on December 12th, 2007 | 3 Comments »

What are you trying to pull, Deutsche Grammophon?

I see that DG, one of the most prestigious classical music record labels, has begun offering MP3 downloads at their website, including recordings long out of print on CD.  I also see that they charge a variable rate per track on some recordings, depending on the length of the track.  This becomes a terrible deal, however, on shorter tracks, where you can pay $1.29 for one minute, four seconds of music.

This is the case with the newly released Mahler Symphony No. 8 conducted by Pierre Boulez.  This new Symphony of a Thousand marks the completion of Boulez’s Gustav Mahler cycle, which I have been collecting for years. As you can see, however, downloading the complete symphony would cost $22.99.  Or, you can buy a physical disc, in superior sound, which you can play on any CD player on earth for $5 less.  Which do you think I will do?

Filed under: Cost of Living, Music, Technology on December 10th, 2007 | No Comments »

For some reason which I cannot begin to understand, a man has tried to sue the world’s worst living person, Kid Rock, not for being an incredibly misogynistic bastard, for tarnishing America’s image abroad, or even simply being a waste of precious oxygen.  No, this poor fool has attempted, and failed, to sue Mr. Rock for [shaking my head] stealing his song.

You read right – Troy Landry of Louisiana “sued Atlantic Recording Corp., Kid Rock (whose real name is Robert Ritchie) and others in 2004, claiming an 8-second portion of Kid Rock’s ‘Somebody’s Gotta Feel This,’ featured in a beer commercial, was ‘strikingly or substantially similar’ to songs Landry released on a 1994 record.”  Judge Mary Ann Vial Lemmon ruled in favor of the defendant today.

No doubt the beer referenced was Coors, which is already on my Axis of Evil, not only for choosing Mr. Rock as their spokesbastard, but for referring to him as “an American hero” in a written response to my anti-Rock manifesto of 2002.

Still, I cannot understand why any self-respecting songwriter would debase himself by publicizing a plausible connection between his own work and that of such a feculent ass clown as Kid Rock.  It would be as if the most offensive hard core pornographic motion picture of all time contained amongst the filth some plot element that you had once thought of yourself.  Suing would only draw a permanent link between your name and the aforementioned smut.

And to lose in the end?  I pity you, Mr. Landry.

Filed under: Axis of Evil, Rantings on December 6th, 2007 | No Comments »

Those who know me well may know of my particular dislike of certain Christmas songs–and I make clear distinctions between Christmas songs and Christmas carols–and my growing bemusement at the annual crop of disdainful new recordings of standard holiday fare by talentless singers and “recording artists”. In intend to probe deeper into that topic in a future post as part of my War on Christmas series, as well as give a rundown of this season’s favorite melodies. But today I will discuss something else entirely.

Lately (read: this afternoon) I have given some thought to an unfortunate tendency in popular music–even beyond the songs of the Christmas season–to jettison many a lovely preamble, i.e., the generally freer-flowing passage formerly included in many fantastic songs of old, especially standards. A perfect example is the seldom heard preamble to “I’ll Be Seeing You”, which is sung here by Tony Bennett:

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Many, if not most performers, do not sing that introduction, which is a terrible shame. It adds so much to the entire composition. Imagine how less impressive “If I Fell” would be if it began thusly:

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Even when they are not so inspired, preambles still add something special to a song, by framing the melody of the verse between the introduction and the bridge. Consider this well known tune sung by former president James Taylor:

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Sometimes, however, a regularly omitted preamble is so wonderful and so integral to the overall melodic and narrative arc of a song, that dispensing with it is a crime. “I’ll Be Seeing You” above is such an example, and so is “What Are You Doing New Year’s”:

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Can you see how much that adds to an already good song? It gives it another melancholic dimension altogether that it lacks when a singer begins with the first verse alone. I can understand how it has come to pass that nobody sings more than the chorus of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”, even though the verses offer the essential story the more tuneful chorus lacks. But I cannot understand why many songs–including some prominent Christmas songs–are so frequently performed in such thoughtless arrangements.

Next time: what’s wrong with “Sleigh Ride”.

Filed under: Popular Music, Rantings on December 6th, 2007 | 2 Comments »