danajohnhill.org | Hard Times Come Again No More

I am upset by an article in today’s paper describing cyclist Floyd Landis’s admission that he used performance-enhancing drugs during his 2006 Tour de France win.  (He lost the title upon being accused, but denied the charges until now.)  Worse, he implicates several other cyclists in the scandal, including Lance Armstrong.  After recently reading up on baseball stars Barry Bonds and Manny Ramirez, I cannot help but wonder if there are any top-level athletes in America who do not cheat.

That said, if someone makes performance-enhancing drugs for writers, the authors of the aforementioned article might want to look into it.  Consider the following paragraph:

Landis provided detailed information about his own doping practices, saying he consistently used the blood-booster EPO to increase his endurance, testosterone, human growth hormone and blood transfusions.

I am surprised that the big league New York Times editors didn’t spot the blunder.  Had they taken Professor McCrea’s Advanced Exposition course, they would know that the last item in a series should always be the longest.  As it stands, the sentence seems to say that EPO increased Landis’ endurance and testosterone.  Here’s how the sentence ought to look:

Landis provided detailed information about his own doping practices, saying he consistently used testosterone, blood transfusions, human growth hormone, and the blood-booster EPO to increase his endurance.

Even that, however, might not be enough, since one might now infer that all those items contributed to Landis’s increased endurance, when, in fact, only EPO was responsible.  I would take the last element in that series and write it like this:

…and the blood booster EPO, which increases endurance.

That’s better.

Filed under: Current Events, Musings, Sports on May 20th, 2010