Shortly after high school, I began avidly watching Late Night with Conan O’Brien.  It was the wackiest show around, and it perfectly reflected the sense of humor my friends shared.  I spent years staying up until 1:30 in the morning watching that show.  In one episode, Conan talked about (fictional) guests he wouldn’t have back.  One was named “Johnny Airhorn”, and he had a helmet with two airhorns mounted on either side.  Whenever Conan would try to ask him a question or say anything, Johnny Airhorn would blast his horns in deafening fashion. Unfortunately, these old clips are impossible to find.

Miraculously, one of my favorites is on YouTube.  I’ve posted it before, but it’s a perfect example of what Conan does so well.  The premise alone is insane, and the execution is perfect.

Tonight is the premiere of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.  Andy Richter is back, Max will be there, and my hopes are high.

UPDATE: Yes, this video will probably not work when you go to play it.  That’s copyright for you.

“What?”

“You know Chuck Norris?  Do you like jokes about him?”

“I guess.  I know the one about his tears curing cancer, and another I can’t really remember, something about ‘another fist’.”

“Behind his chin is another fist.”

“That’s the one.”

“I love Chuck Norris.  I got this new folder with Chuck Norris on it.”

Sure enough, she had a folder with Chuck Norris and a horse, and the words “Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water…and make him drink.”

“Brother from the Same Planet” was the 14th episode from Season 4 (1992-1993) – surely The Simpsons‘ golden age.  Among countless hilarious lines, I particularly like when Homer and Pepi (“I love you, too, Pepsi”) are star-gazing and Pepi asks Homer to name some of the constellations.  “…And that Big Dipper looking thing is Alex…the Cowboy”.

“The President Wore Pearls” is an against-the-odds masterpiece from the otherwise lackluster Season 15 (2003-2004).  Watching it tonight I was inclined to believe it was from Season 5, so strong is the writing.  In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s in my Simpsons Top 10.  It even has several songs, which I contend are the zenith of entertainment.

On a similar topic, a few nights ago, they replayed another top drawer episode, “Homer’s Barbershop Quartet”, and it made me feel very old.   Towards the beginning, when Homer is explaining to the kids why they had never heard of his fame, he explains that it was eight years before, in 1985.  Now 1985 is 23 years ago!

Also note: everybody in the world was in this movie, including people you have seen before in lots other things, but whose names you don’t know; and tons of other people with big names who have small parts.  Now, I am sure you’re wondering, “but, Dana, does it have Jackson Browne?”  Hell yes, it does.  It even has butterscotch blonde Fender Telecasters.  So, something for everybody, specifically me.

Walk Hard stars one of my very favorite actors, John C. Reilly, in his first leading role, playing a character named Dewey Cox, a fictional legend of popular music, whose life and career trace a contour reminiscent of scores of rockers and country singers.  The film is apparently a humorous homage to music biopics from Walk the Line and Ray to The Buddy Holly Story.   John C. Reilly sings all the songs in the film, and from the excerpts I’ve heard, he is actually a talented singer.  And the songs, while presumably played for laughs, seem to be genuinely good compositions.  I heard a bit of a tune from the picture called “A Life Without You”, a Roy Orbison-inspired  ballad, and it is fantastic, and, had it been written in 1960 would undoubtedly been a number one hit record, even sung by John C. Reilly.

I encourage you to listen to this extended interview with Reilly and director Jake Kasdan from the December 3 edition of Fresh Air.  At about 24 minutes you can hear an excerpt of “A Life Without You”, and plenty of other music from the film throughout.

And, as an added bonus which I only just realized from looking at the IMDB entry for Walk Hard:  the movie also stars Jenna Fischer.

Fast forward over twenty years, and the Soviets no longer inspire fear in the hearts of Americans, in spite of their backsliding on democracy under Vladimir Putin. There are actual lunatic terrorists on the loose in places like Pakistan, but god forbid we make good on President Bush’s “you’re-either-with-us-or-you’re-with-the-terrorists” rhetoric and come down hard on Pervez Musharraf. I am all in favor of parachuting Chuck Norris into the mountains of Tora Bora and having him deal with Osama bin Laden in whatever manner he saw fit. I imagine it would look something like this, but possibly less swampy.

Still, that doesn’t seem to be a priority for Republican voters or political candidates. Rather, their enemy has suddenly become Mexico, as though we’ve rolled the clock back to 1846. I have a big problem with politicians exploiting people’s bigotry to win office, nevertheless, if they do it like Mick Huckabee does here, I can at least appreciate it as comedy:

Here’s my pitch to NBC: An office-themed reality show where good looking guys and girls hook up and each week somebody gets “laid-off”. I call it, Office Slut. What? That sounds like crap, you say? You’re right. That is why writers are important. If the big networks had their way there would only be low-budget reality programs, lame game shows, and ridiculous washed-up celebrity interviews by Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer. I certainly do not like most of the scripted police procedurals, hospital dramas and courtroom sagas, but the best TV we have now is better than almost anything that has been on television before. Do you remember how unfunny comedies used to be? Cheers was good and All in the Family was groundbreaking, but before Seinfeld most everything else was pretty weak. Have you tried watching old Who’s the Boss episodes? They’re pretty bad.

So, as tempting as it may be to think of all these writers as just a bunch of nerdy Harvard grads sitting around a table covered in free donuts and bottled water making each other laugh for a living, and shout out your car window at their picket lines, “get a real job”, try not to forget that the networks are making ridiculous profits off of these people’s work, and they don’t see much of it. I have several DVD sets of The Simpsons and Arrested Development, and I anticipate getting 30 Rock and some others as well. That’s hugely profitable for the networks, as are syndication rights, but the writers get left out of all that. I’m not saying I want to see another class of millionaires spring up from this, but the system as it stands now unjustly compensates actors over the writers that give them the funny lines.

I disapprove of the pet-death-as-humor theme, and Dwight has always been my least favorite character, but, hey, Pam and Jim – that’s good stuff. I could imagine a gleeful Sandi watching the 5k race hand-holding. Kevin’s obsessive interest in Pam and Jim’s relationship was fantastic. And I love watching the Toby as Michael’s enemy motif play out. Add to that Ryan as Michael’s new boss and Jan as Michael’s new cohabitator, and you have comedy gold.