Norris Approved!

This morning, during a five minute break in one of my classes, the girl who was sitting next to me turned and asked, “Do you like Chuck Norris jokes?”

“What?”

“You know Chuck Norris?  Do you like jokes about him?”

“I guess.  I know the one about his tears curing cancer, and another I can’t really remember, something about ‘another fist’.”

“Behind his chin is another fist.”

“That’s the one.”

“I love Chuck Norris.  I got this new folder with Chuck Norris on it.”

Sure enough, she had a folder with Chuck Norris and a horse, and the words “Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water…and make him drink.”

Classic!

My local Fox affiliate shows an hour of The Simpsons each night at seven o’clock, and tonight were two astoundingly great episodes: the legendary “Brother from the Same Planet” and a forgotten gem, “The President Wore Pearls”.

“Brother from the Same Planet” was the 14th episode from Season 4 (1992-1993) – surely The Simpsons‘ golden age.  Among countless hilarious lines, I particularly like when Homer and Pepi (“I love you, too, Pepsi”) are star-gazing and Pepi asks Homer to name some of the constellations.  “…And that Big Dipper looking thing is Alex…the Cowboy”.

“The President Wore Pearls” is an against-the-odds masterpiece from the otherwise lackluster Season 15 (2003-2004).  Watching it tonight I was inclined to believe it was from Season 5, so strong is the writing.  In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s in my Simpsons Top 10.  It even has several songs, which I contend are the zenith of entertainment.

On a similar topic, a few nights ago, they replayed another top drawer episode, “Homer’s Barbershop Quartet”, and it made me feel very old.   Towards the beginning, when Homer is explaining to the kids why they had never heard of his fame, he explains that it was eight years before, in 1985.  Now 1985 is 23 years ago!

Walk Hard: Update

Mrs. Hill went to the theater Friday night and saw Walk Hard on opening night.  A synopsis isn’t necessary, but the highlights for me were definitely the songs, especially “Life Without You”, “Dewey Cox Died”, the Marshall Crenshaw-composed “Walk Hard” and the cleverly suggestive “Let’s Duet”.  Kudos to John C. Reilly for being a genuinely great singer with a ringing high F#.  And Tim Meadows has some of the funniest material.

Also note: everybody in the world was in this movie, including people you have seen before in lots other things, but whose names you don’t know; and tons of other people with big names who have small parts.  Now, I am sure you’re wondering, “but, Dana, does it have Jackson Browne?”  Hell yes, it does.  It even has butterscotch blonde Fender Telecasters.  So, something for everybody, specifically me.

Walk Hard

I don’t often eagerly await motion pictures, since I don’t generally go to the theater to see movies anyway.  But a film opening today has me excited.

Walk Hard stars one of my very favorite actors, John C. Reilly, in his first leading role, playing a character named Dewey Cox, a fictional legend of popular music, whose life and career trace a contour reminiscent of scores of rockers and country singers.  The film is apparently a humorous homage to music biopics from Walk the Line and Ray to The Buddy Holly Story.   John C. Reilly sings all the songs in the film, and from the excerpts I’ve heard, he is actually a talented singer.  And the songs, while presumably played for laughs, seem to be genuinely good compositions.  I heard a bit of a tune from the picture called “A Life Without You”, a Roy Orbison-inspired  ballad, and it is fantastic, and, had it been written in 1960 would undoubtedly been a number one hit record, even sung by John C. Reilly.

I encourage you to listen to this extended interview with Reilly and director Jake Kasdan from the December 3 edition of Fresh Air.  At about 24 minutes you can hear an excerpt of “A Life Without You”, and plenty of other music from the film throughout.

And, as an added bonus which I only just realized from looking at the IMDB entry for Walk Hard:  the movie also stars Jenna Fischer.

Norris Approved!

When I was a kid I saw a movie called Invasion U.S.A. with Chuck Norris, in which he shoots two Uzis in seemingly random fashion. It was so over-the-top, preying on Americans’ irrational fear of invading Soviet forces, that I am sure if I was fortunate enough to see it again today I would laugh throughout. At the time I saw it, however, I was terrified by the perilous situations depicted in the film. For instance, terrorists attach a bomb to the side of a school bus sitting in traffic. Back then I rode the school bus each day, so the scene struck a chord with me. A chord of fear. Thankfully, Chuck Norris saves the kids, and dispatches the terrorists with a witty one-liner (and their own bomb).

Fast forward over twenty years, and the Soviets no longer inspire fear in the hearts of Americans, in spite of their backsliding on democracy under Vladimir Putin. There are actual lunatic terrorists on the loose in places like Pakistan, but god forbid we make good on President Bush’s “you’re-either-with-us-or-you’re-with-the-terrorists” rhetoric and come down hard on Pervez Musharraf. I am all in favor of parachuting Chuck Norris into the mountains of Tora Bora and having him deal with Osama bin Laden in whatever manner he saw fit. I imagine it would look something like this, but possibly less swampy.

Still, that doesn’t seem to be a priority for Republican voters or political candidates. Rather, their enemy has suddenly become Mexico, as though we’ve rolled the clock back to 1846. I have a big problem with politicians exploiting people’s bigotry to win office, nevertheless, if they do it like Mick Huckabee does here, I can at least appreciate it as comedy: