The Inevitable Conclusion of the Souvenir of Foolishness

Baseball Last year I wrote about a terrifying incident that took place at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas. A fan in the upper deck, reaching over a railing to snag a foul ball, fell thirty feet or so and landed in the seats below, seriously injuring himself. It must have been a horrifying experience for everyone present, and television footage showed the players and umpires were quite visibly distressed.

As I wrote at the time, the frantic scramble fans undertake these days for baseballs has reached a dangerous extreme. I felt certain that things would get worse until someone actually died. I am sorry to report that that has now happened.

Last night at Rangers Ballpark (just an unfortunate coincidence; it could have been anywhere), a fan reaching for a ball fell to his death from the bleachers above the bullpen. This story has an extra layer of tragedy, though, since this fan wasn’t reaching for a foul ball or a home run, but for a ball tossed to him by a generous player. That is something that often happens at games, and even I have been the surprised recipient of such free souvenirs (one is pictured here). But even that is a dangerous practice. My heart aches for the poor young son who watched his father’s fall, and for whom the game of baseball will never be the same.

But, please, let this be a wake-up call to professional baseball. The lust for free balls has become deadly. If parks have to install protective barriers above the fences and along railings to keep fans from reaching too far, so be it. But, as I said before, things cannot go on like this; something will happen.

The Space Shuttle

As I write this, Atlantis is streaking into space, having just lifted off the pad at Cape Canaveral – the final mission of the Space Shuttle program. I can hardly remember a time before the Space Shuttle. And though the program seemed to become routine over the years, with many of the 135 missions taking place only in the background of my consciousness, I do have many vivid and powerful Space Shuttle memories. I remember that the first Shuttles were painted completely white, fuel tank and all. I remember, as though it were yesterday, the freezing cold morning in 1986 when the Challenger launched, and I remember watching news coverage of the disaster in my third-grade classroom. I remember the return to space following Challenger. I remember some amazing night launches, which, even from my vantage point in west-central Florida, appeared as a candle rising above the horizon in the darkness. I remember hearing sonic booms as Shuttles passed over my house on their way to the landing strip at Kennedy Space Center. I remember the Shuttle looking much smaller than I expected while strapped to the back of a 747 on return flights from California. I remember covering the Columbia disaster at work. And I am sure I will remember this final launch, too.

I never saw a Shuttle launch in person, but I am certain it was a spectacular experience. A couple years ago my elderly grandmother attended one, and she was thrilled. Still, I cannot say I am broken-hearted to see the Shuttle retired. Decades after giant Saturn V rockets took men to the moon, low Earth orbit never seemed as impressive. Moreover, given the enormous advances in technology since the Apollo missions, I cannot help but think we could have done more. I hope we will. Though it has no practical benefit that I can see, a manned mission to Mars would be a historic endeavor, and a genuine source of pride for the USA. I would be happy to see that in my lifetime.

The Big Man

Anyone who knows me knows that I love the E Street Band. And I consider myself quite lucky to have been able to see them live on several occasions – most recently on their last tour, when I finally got to see a show with my father. Anyone who has been to see the E Street Band knows this already, but if you never have, you should know that Clarence Clemons, who died last night, was beloved. Any time the Big Man played a note people in the audience would freak out. I witnessed this myself many times.

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But I count myself luckier still because several years ago, at a concert in Orlando, I watched Bruce Springsteen pick a sign from someone in the crowd requesting the band play “Jungleland”, which they did. I got to see the Big Man play that solo and it was everything I hoped it would be.

Blown Away

I have never seen a tornado in person. But I confess to having a bizarre curiosity. It isn’t that I am drawn to danger. On the contrary, I am not one inclined to try BASE jumping, SWAT teaming, Ice Road Trucking, or any other perilous occupation. Tornadoes fascinate me, however. I have watched storm chasers on the Weather Channel and thought, “that would be such a neat occupation”. But the reason I will never be a professional storm chaser—aside from the fact that it may not be a real job—is the same reason that I am intrigued by tornadoes: they are so powerful, but so inexplicable.

Scientists know what conditions birth tornadoes, and can use radar and other means to identify and track tornadoes. But even if tornado predictions were one hundred percent accurate, and even if meteorologists could give ample warning to people in the path of danger, they could still not explain the bizarre and almost unbelievable destruction wrought by tornadoes.

On NBC Nightly News this week, Brian Williams was standing atop debris in Joplin, Missouri. Behind him, a devastated landscape, with great heaps of splintered wood and twisted metal suggested the ruins of a home or business, and a mangled mass of automobiles lay piled one upon another. Williams turned to a small tree, standing erect, with some branches broken at the ends, and pointed out that it had no bark. It was, he said, as if someone had come by and sanded it smooth. Around him, dozens, perhaps hundreds, of other trees bore the same unbelievable mark of tornadic contact. Then BriWi held up a black plastic garbage can – the kind used by countless municipalities across America. It had been speared by a long, dull piece of wood, which remained partly lodged within the container.

I couldn’t understand this sort of destruction. I still cannot.

I have lived through hurricanes. I have seen homes shorn of roofing shingles. I have seen trees toppled and homes crushed. I have seen waters rise and flood low-lying areas. But I cannot comprehend a force of nature that leaves a tree standing naked with no bark. How fast must the wind blow to strip a tree bare? If I had a steel adze I doubt I could slice the bark off my live oak tree, and even if I could, it wouldn’t look so clean. Saw mills use enormous machines to accomplish the same feat. A wind that blows hard enough to do that ought to rip the tree from the earth itself.

Likewise, what force would be required to drive a board through a tough plastic trash can? We have all seen video of two-by-fours being fired through sheets of plywood. But in those tests the plywood is firmly fixed in some stationary position. The same machine that launches lumber at high speed would surely cause a plastic trash can to go flying before it could pierce its walls, right?

Any force of nature that can rip the asphalt clean off a road ought to be feared as well as fascinate.

Osama bin Laden Dead

Given that the past decade has been defined by the events of 11 September 2001, and given that nary a day has gone by since then that international news has not revolved around the issue of terrorism, it is appropriate for me to note the death of Osama bin Laden which is being announced right this moment.