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I wrote more extensively about this topic back in March, but an article in yesterday’s Washington Post reminded me of the savvy marketing of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in their effort to convert the world. The Mormons are, like the Roman Catholics and others, focusing their missions increasingly on the developing world, and finding considerable success. Their tactics today are a considerable improvement over the “convert or die” methods of the past, which are certainly a blight on the history of the Catholic Church.

How the Mormons are able to sell Nigerians on a faith that seems on its face to be absurd and bizarrely America-centric is a testament to their marketing prowess. In case you don’t know, Mormons believe some weird things, such as:

• The Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri
• Jesus will personally govern the world from the United States following his second-coming
• Israelites crossed the ocean by boat in 600 B.C. and became the Native Americans we know today
• Proxy baptism of the dead is encouraged, regardless of the deceased person’s faith, including Jewish victims of the Holocaust, and Adolf Hitler
• People live in the sun (not orthodox doctrine, but still the belief of Prophet Brigham Young)

So, what about the LDS church draws so many converts in the developing world? My best guess is this: Mormons are extremely nice people. When I was a kid, during a particularly bad time, a Mormon family helped us in a profound way, and were extraordinarily generous and kind. When I was in Salt Lake City last March, every encounter I had with a LDS member was pleasant. They were all courteous and friendly. The fact that Temple Square in Salt Lake City is staffed by an army of extremely attractive young Mormon women from all over the world is a testament to the church’s geographic reach and marketing prowess.

Back in March I went to Salt Lake City, where I spent several days touring Temple Square, a compound in the heart of town home to the most important sites in the Mormon church. As I wrote at the time:

The Mormons employ a vast army of beautiful and exotic young women to greet visitors to Temple Square. The flags pinned to their coats indicate their countries of origin, and they come from far and wide. I saw girls from Brazil, Sweden, Japan, Switzerland, Germany, the Philippines and, of course, the USA. They are trained to make eye contact, and pleasant conversation. And, in spite of the cult-like atmosphere, I will say that everyone I encountered in Salt Lake City was extremely nice. Suspiciously nice.

Saturday morning I answered a knock at the door to find a young woman and a middle-aged man. She identified herself as “Jessica”, and said the man was her father. She asked if I thought that natural disasters were caused by God or something else. I explained that I didn’t think that God played such a direct role in our lives, striking down populations à la Sodom and Gomorrah, but that bad things sometimes happen to good and bad alike. She left me with some literature to look over, which, upon reading I see squares quite well with what I believe.

But what was most interesting was how flattering Jessica was, and how beautiful. Jehovah’s Witnesses are, from my understanding, supposed to be plain in appearance and dress, but Jessica would have stood out anywhere. She wore clothes any twenty-something might wear to an office, and she had little makeup on, but her hair was arranged just so, and I even noticed that she had a pedicure. And she smiled at the end of every sentence she spoke, and made eye contact throughout. Her father stood a few steps back, and I rather sensed that the message–aside from eternal salvation–was, “join the church, get a hot young wife”.

Well, I’ve got one already, thanks, but I am beginning to see a pattern: churches are putting their best faces forward.